"They Just Need to Try Harder" And Other Things That Aren't True About ADHD
In over 15 years as a registered psychologist working with children and adults in Calgary, I’ve heard every variation of this phrase. From teachers. From well-meaning relatives. Occasionally, heartbreakingly, from parents who have internalized it themselves. And I understand why — because ADHD doesn’t always look the way people expect it to.
It doesn’t always look like a boy bouncing off the walls. It looks like a 9-year-old girl who daydreams through every lesson and can’t explain why. It looks like a 35-year-old professional who is brilliant in conversation but can’t finish a single project. It looks like a teenager who wants desperately to succeed but loses track of every assignment before it’s due.
ADHD is one of the most misunderstood and misdiagnosed conditions I encounter in my practice — and also one of the most life-changing to finally identify. Because when you have the right diagnosis, you can access the right strategies. And that changes everything.
What Is ADHD, Really?
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) are neurodevelopmental conditions that affect attention, impulse control, executive functioning, and — in some presentations — physical activity levels. They are not character flaws. They are not the result of bad parenting. They are not something a person can simply overcome through effort alone.
ADHD presents in three main ways:
- Predominantly Inattentive (formerly called ADD) — difficulty sustaining attention, easily distracted, forgetful, disorganized. Often missed in children, especially girls, because there is no disruptive behaviour.
- Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive — difficulty sitting still, talking excessively, acting before thinking, interrupting. More commonly identified in younger children.
- Combined Presentation — a mix of both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms.
What’s important to understand is that attention difficulties exist on a spectrum. We all have moments of distraction, forgetfulness, and poor focus — especially when we’re stressed, sleep-deprived, or anxious. What distinguishes ADHD is that these difficulties are persistent, present across multiple settings, and significantly impair daily functioning in ways that go well beyond typical variation.
Signs That May Indicate ADHD in Children
I want to be careful here, because not every child who struggles with focus has ADHD. But if several of these patterns are consistent and pervasive — at home, at school, and in social settings — it may be worth exploring an assessment:
- Frequently loses track of assignments, books, or belongings
- Has difficulty starting tasks — especially ones that feel boring or repetitive
- Struggles to follow multi-step instructions
- Often seems to not be listening even when spoken to directly
- Rushes through work, makes careless errors, and misses details
- Has difficulty waiting their turn or controlling impulses
- Becomes easily frustrated when tasks require sustained mental effort
- Has trouble with time management — loses track of time, chronically late
- Shows inconsistent performance — can hyperfocus on things they love, but can't sustain attention on anything else
That last point — hyperfocus — is one of the most misunderstood aspects of ADHD. Parents sometimes say to me, “But they can focus for hours on video games — how can they have ADHD?” The answer is that ADHD doesn’t mean a person can’t focus on anything. It means they struggle to regulate their attention — to direct it where it’s needed, when it’s needed.
Signs That May Indicate ADHD in Adults
Adult ADHD is significantly underdiagnosed, partly because many adults developed coping strategies in childhood that masked their difficulties — until life got more demanding. Common signs in adults include:
- Chronic procrastination and difficulty completing projects
- Frequently losing or misplacing important items
- Difficulty organizing tasks, managing time, or meeting deadlines
- Impulsive decision-making — financial, relational, or professional
- Relationship difficulties due to forgetting commitments or not following through
- Feeling overwhelmed by everyday responsibilities
- A sense of underachievement — knowing you are capable of more but not being able to access it
- A long history of being labelled as disorganized, scattered, or unreliable
Many of the adults I assess tell me they’ve spent their whole lives wondering why things that seem easy for everyone else feel so hard for them. Getting a diagnosis as an adult isn’t about making excuses — it’s about finally understanding your own brain, and getting access to strategies that actually work for the way you’re wired.
ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression — How They Overlap
One of the most important things I do in an ADHD assessment is rule out other explanations for attention difficulties. Anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, trauma, and chronic stress can all produce symptoms that look remarkably similar to ADHD. And in many cases, these conditions co-exist.
This is why a targeted ADHD assessment conducted by a registered psychologist is so important. It’s not about ticking boxes on a checklist — it’s about understanding the whole person, across multiple domains of functioning, to arrive at an accurate clinical picture.
What Does an ADHD Assessment at Impact Psychological Services Involve?
My ADHD assessment process is thorough, collaborative, and designed to give you genuinely useful answers — not just a label.
ADHD Assessment Fees in Calgary
At Impact Psychological Services, an ADHD/ADD assessment is up to $1,750 CAD. This is a targeted assessment focused on attention and its impact on daily functioning. If cognitive ability or academic achievement testing is also recommended, a full psychoeducational assessment may be more appropriate — we’ll discuss this during the initial consultation.
Extended health benefits and Health Spending Accounts frequently cover registered psychologist services. Check with your provider before assuming you’ll be paying the full amount out of pocket.
An Accurate Diagnosis Changes Everything
I’ve watched children go from being labelled as problem students to becoming confident, thriving learners — simply because someone finally understood how their brain works. I’ve watched adults feel a profound sense of relief at finally having a name for something they’ve struggled with their entire lives.
ADHD is not a barrier. It’s a different way of processing the world. With the right support, strategies, and understanding, people with ADHD can and do achieve extraordinary things. But it starts with an accurate picture of what’s actually going on.
Ready to take the next step?
Book an appointment with Lesley today. Call (403) 829-0818. You don’t have to navigate this alone.